he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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