I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
