Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
