she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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