Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize