I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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