So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
