We won't sleep together?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
