Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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