dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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