Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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