I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
