fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize