God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
