apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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