just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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