Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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