I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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