remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
