the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm at about main and main street
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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