So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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