your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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