if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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