Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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