I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
