am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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