I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
