I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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