I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Quick, to the slutcave!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
