I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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