I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
