Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just puked most of my soul out..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
