I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
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Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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