Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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