You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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