i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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