last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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