Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
