ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
