Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
