Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
