All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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