I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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