I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
