4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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