so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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