one two three fourrrrnication!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
