I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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