shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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