You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize