So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
