Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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