that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize