he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize