sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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