You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
