I am in a vortex of obligation.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
