Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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