I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
